a few lessons i've learned at 22

it's important to "break your aesthetic" stop putting yourself in a box. As someone who likes to categorize themselves in order to become easier to digest, I've come to the realization that this has only limited me. It leads me to not allowing myself to be seen in other ways or only doing things that match the “me” that was easier to understand instead of me authentically. I'm a walking contradiction, truly just as everyone else, we all have so many interests, we get inspired by different things, we’re full of depth. Depth that can't be put into a box.. As soon as we label ourselves as one thing we stop the possibility of being someone so much bigger.

expectations and perfection can sometimes keep you stagnant. Personally, i am someone who tends to pick at everything they do until i grow sick of it, i hold onto projects and ideas entirely to long because of the thought that it could be better, i am my biggest critic, i don't try new things as much as i'd like because i hate failing at things, i tend to not produce as much as i'd like because of the need for everything to be perfect which only causes me to spiral. Nothing is ever perfect, my expectations are not always going to match the reality but if I try my best and enjoy the process and I'm proud of myself for what I do , that is good enough for me.

accept people as they are but place them where they belong. Now I can't lie, this has probably been one of the hardest lessons to learn. As someone who craves depth in my connections growing older has made me realize everyone is not me, they don't tend to have relationships the same way I do and that's fine,but expecting myself out of others has only brought me resentment. accept people as they are but place boundaries so you don't get your feelings hurt by expectations others can't live up to.

affirmations actually do make a difference. Speaking light into yourself is so important.shining a light on your progress. Acknowledging yourself and giving yourself a pep talk feels good, it feels like caring for yourself the same way you do other people even if it feels foreign in the beginning.

all love given is not love that is granted back to you. whew!!! As someone with a big heart and also someone who felt the need to care for everyone as a child, giving love to others was never hard for me, but when I realized that I wasn't given the same love back I was heart broken. the truth is just because you love someone in a capacity that is big to you doesn't mean they are capable of giving you the same love back. Depending on others' love to make you feel valuable or lovable only deteriorates your self esteem and love yourself.

love is not enough. Do I believe love is the ultimate answer? yes. But do I believe loving something or someone is enough? no. love means nothing without respect, love means nothing without understanding, love means nothing without change. you can love someone so much and still not be able to live a happy and fulfilled life. you can love your job so much and still not be happy about the pay and benefits. Maybe the saying if you love something let it go has more than one side because sometimes love doesn't equal fulfillment if all your needs aren't being meant. Its possible holding onto those things is keeping you away from true bliss.

vulnerability does not make you weak. I am sensitive and often move on my emotions which can be 50/50 good or bad. A lot of the times I look back on moments when I spoke openly about how I feel and why I feel the way I do and I cringe at how honest I was about my hurt. What I've grown to realize is that the problem isn't my honesty, or my emotions, my vulnerability is the compass to fulfillment in relationships, creativity and connections. however people respond to my vulnerability is not my problem. Vulnerability is my strength.

only do things when they feel good to you, even at times it makes other people upset. This could be obvious for a lot of people but this was never common sense to me. I would over give myself up and go out of my way to help just because I know it's needed and I'm often left feeling taken for granted. stop going out of your way for everybody especially if when you do it goes unnoticed.

i am not a project that needs fixing. I think once you get the idea that there is something that needs fixing it's hard to get it out of your mind until the task is complete. My problem is that I notice all the things that need fixing within and I often find myself constantly trying to pick things apart. There is always something that needs fixing and I have all the time to fix it. I just need to accept who I have grown to be today and live within her.